That small, red headed girl
by brialexandra
Summary: Jace didn't care that his glamor had worn off, he didn't care that he was pushing people down to the ground in order to get out of his way, he didn't care about anything. All he cared about, was the small red headed girl, unconscious in his arms, who had now stopped breathing.


"Clary, turn around. Run. We can't face them alone. We need to get out of here."

The words went through Clary, but took no effect. She was too busy looking into the eye of the very first demon she ever saw. She hadn't seen it since the day it destroyed her and her mothers apartment, almost killing her while doing it. She hadn't even thought of the demon ever since, too busy being introduced into the Shadow World. Her life became hell after that, people she loved dying, then coming back, only to loose their memory, her best friends younger brother dying because of her family, falling in love only to have had the person torn away from them. These were things that she would never recover from. And it all started with this demon. It all started when she ran into her apartment, to find this ugly beast waiting for her.

She thought she would feel different at this moment, considering all that she had been through. Even after completing her training, she thought this moment would be more to her. She thought she would feel triumphant, she would feel pity for the demon that she was about to kill for the second time. But no, all she felt was rage. Pure, hard rage. More than she had ever felt before. So much that almost nothing mattered; the fact that there were thirteen demons instead of one, didn't matter, Jace screaming into her ear to run, didn't matter. All that mattered was the fact that she was going to kill this demon, whether it killed her or not.

She took a step forward then, moving closer to the cluster of demons. Jace screamed at her to run again, not moving, knowing that if he moved they would charge. The moment was almost perfect for Clary, nothing to stop her, nothing to stand in the way.

"Clary, I know what your thinking, and you need to stop. Facing them alone will only kill you. I know you want to prove how far you have come, I know that the only thing you are feeling right now is anger. You need to control it Clary, you need to step down, walk backwards to me. Please Clary, hear me." Jace was pleading now, which he almost never did. He knew what she was going to do, but like before, his words took no effect. She took another step forward, making the demons growl.

The fear came in then, the fear of dying, the fear of being killed. She didn't want to die, but if she did die today, facing the monster that started everything, she wouldn't mind, the rage had taken over her every move. There was no stopping now, it was do or die.

"Let me do this," Clary said then, her voice shaking "you have to let me do this. I have to, Jace, I have no choice."

"Clary, please, for me. You will die Clary." Jace said, she couldn't see him, but she could still see the desperation in his eyes, his beautiful, golden eyes. His eyes always made everything better, and even though she couldn't see them now, just the thought of them was enough. Enough to make her stand up straight from her fighting stance, enough to make her turn towards Jace, tears streaming down her face.

It was also enough to make the demons charge, all jumping onto a unprepared Clary, knocking the seraph blade out of her hand, and pulling her body to the ground. Clary gasped, looking for Jace, but all she could see was demons, pulling her apart, tugging her skin, pain enveloping her until all she could see was black.

It had all come so fast. So fast that at first Jace couldn't move, he couldn't breathe.

He wasn't able to fight off the demons until they had pulled Clary to the ground, attacking her from every angle. Jace snapped back then, and charged. Seraph blade in hand, he thrashed at the demons. Heads and limbs rolling to the ground, ichor all over him. But Jace didn't feel it, all he could do was kill, kill the monsters that were killing the love of his life.

There were only two left now, both attacking him. Jace swung his seraph blade, stabbing one demon in the chest, it wasn't enough to kill. The demon jumped onto Jace, knocking him to the ground. Jace rolled and kicked it, trying to get enough room to kill. Once the demon finally fell back, Jace pushed the blade through it, killing it. He turned quickly, trying to find the final demon. He found it easily, killing it would have been even easier. But what made him stop in his tracks was seeing Clary, cut and bruised and bloody beyond recognition. Her closed eyes were black and swollen, her lips were torn, blood dribbling down her chin. Jace had never seen her like this, so small, so helpless.

Anger boiled inside of him, he turned to face the last demon, charging it with every last ounce of strength he had. He cut through the demon, spraying ichor all over him. He didn't feel it though, all he could do was think about Clary. All he could think about was the small red head lying unconscious on the ground, barley breathing. He quickly bent down to scoop her up, immediately taking off into a run back to the Institute. He didn't care that his glamor had worn off, he didn't care that he was pushing people down to the ground in order to get out of his way, he didn't care about anything. All he cared about, was the small red head, unconscious in his arms, who had now stopped breathing.

He didn't remember much, it all had seemed to mush together in his head. He remembered bursting into the Institute, screaming for Maryse. He remembered Clary being torn from his arms, being tackled by warlocks and Silent Brothers. He remembered trying to look through the crack of the closed Infirmary doors, only to see her small hand. Lying limp over the side of the bed. All he remembered after that was falling, and seeing nothing but black.

He sat outside the doors now, his arms hugging himself, desperately trying to stop the shaking. He wasn't cold, he wasn't injured either. Isabelle had forced a stele to his skin, for apparently he was loosing too much blood. He didn't care, though. He didn't care about anything. All he cared about was the small red-headed girl, behind those closed doors, who was fighting for her life.

He sat there for was seemed like years. When he felt something change. He couldn't identify it at first, but then it came to him. It was silent. There was no more shouting of commands, no more bustling feet, no more glow of magic streaming through the cracks of the closed doors. Nothing. It had become silent.

Jace stood up, not being able to take the silence anymore. He pounded on the doors, yelling to let him in. He pounded and pounded until his fists were bloody. Finally, the door opened, letting out a stream of Silent Brothers, followed by Magnus. Magnus looked at him, tears spilling over and falling down his cheeks. Magnus put a hand on Jace's shoulder, opening his mouth to say something, but Jace pushed him away, running over to Clary's bed, praying it wasn't true. He ran over to her bed, putting both hands over her heart ad starting compressions. He pounded on her still chest, yelling for her to wake up, yelling for her to live. It wasn't until Magnus' arms came around him, pulling him off of Clary, that he realized she was really gone.

Jace fell to the floor, continuing to yell at Clary.

"DON'T LEAVE!" He screamed "YOU CANT LEAVE ME CLARY! CLARY WAKE UP!"

"Jace, stop, please, she's gone." Magnus said, sobs interrupting his speech "We did everything we could, but the damage was too severe. She's gone, Jace. Clary's dead."

Jace stopped screaming. Hearing those words pushed him to the breaking point.

She was gone.

Clary was gone.

Jace lost all sense then, the wall he had slowly been trying to rebuild around himself had shattered into pieces.

And it hurt, god did it hurt.

He felt this pressure building up inside of him. This powerful force pushing against him. He screamed out, calling for her, begging her to make it stop. Tears falling down his face in a blinding motion.

Magnus bent down to him, pulling him into an embrace, leaning Jace's body against his.

Jace had known Magnus for a while, but they were never very close. He knew that he should feel embarrassed, he knew he was acting like a child. But he didn't care, he didn't care at all.

Clary is gone.

Clary is dead.

Nothing matters. Not a thing. Without her, Jace has nothing. So he continued to scream, and Magnus continued to hold him. They stayed there for what seemed like forever. When suddenly Jace stopped screaming, stood up and left. He never told anyone where he went, didn't leave a note, didn't say a single goodbye. He should have stayed, he should have stayed for Isabelle, Alec, even Simon. But he didn't care, he didn't care about anything anymore.

Because all that he had ever cared about was the small, red headed girl. That small, red headed girl, that was now gone.


End file.
